This Means War, Joeshadowman's Shit List.

Hey everyone. Know what time it is? That’s right. Cause when it comes to gaming I’ve got a list.

People let me start by saying that there are things beyond our control. Like video game’s that just plain suck. Let us take for example a little known game, X-men for the NES. Now I know that the Nerd has already shown us how bad this game is, but you really don’t know until you have played it. For one thing there is no way you could ever dream of playing it, it’s that bad. If you can ever get past the really bad coloring that the game has then you are color blind. I mean it’s one thing to have an unplayable game. But one that hurts your eyes when you look at it? In the words of the Nerd himself, “WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?” You can’t even get past the training mode. Who the fuck came up with the idea to make a game where you can’t even beat the practice mode? That’s one thing everybody should be able to do. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not running out of things to add to my list. (I am.) It’s just that this game really needs to be hunted down until ever known copy is destroyed. I for one would love to make a website. (In fact if someone were to help me with making a website I will be most grateful.) I know that there is a website like this for a game called Shaq-Fu, but there isn’t one for some of those games that will make you puke. And if this game doesn’t make you puke then you deserve a metal. So, just like the Nerd himself, I am adding X-men for the NES to the rest of the shit.

If there is one thing I hate in game’s it’s the always to easy to know that they are the villain in your team character. That’s why I am adding Celeste from Mirror’s Edge. From the first secant you see her you knew that she was going to be the one to rat you out. You knew that she was just there to add to an already terribly story. The only reason Mirror’s Edge is any good is because of the concept and the game play. (Which is all I need to enjoy a game.) Celeste was just another bland character in an otherwise bland story. Nothing about her was great. Now I know that I don’t really have much to say about her, but I will. Celeste, your character was so bad that I could see right through you the secant I saw you. You had no way of shaking us off at all. Sure, there are better examples of your kind in just about any game, but you are just the only one I can think about right now. There will be others from your category added latter in life. So Celeste you know where to go. Consider yourself added. You bitch.

There are a lot of things going on with Screw Attack right now. One of those things is SGC. There is going to be a lot of people there. One being Jake Thomson. Some would have you believe that this is untrue. One group is known as G4. For those of you who don’t know, G4 is a television station that reports about geek news. One of the things that they report about is game news. They have reported, wrongfully, that Jake will not be there. Now I have nothing against a news company that reports something wrong. As long as they apologize for it and post a correction to their statement. G4 has not done this. I don’t know who runs this little crack pot of a company, but I think he should stand in front of a camera and, get this, report the truth. These should be his words. “Sometime during the week my station reported that Jake Thomson was not going to be at Screw Attack Gaming Convention, also known as SGC. I am here to say that this report is false. Jake Thomson is going to be at the event. I apologize to Screw Attack for the inconvenience that we have caused.” That’s all he has to do. Wait, isn’t Adam Sessler the President of G4? If he is then I don’t think we are going to see him apologize to anyone. So, G4 if you want to be taking off this list then do us all a favor. Report the fucking truth. That’s all we need. I don’t expect someone like Sessler to ever admit that he was wrong. I mean he tried to say that Fable 2 was game of the year not to long ago, and we all know that isn’t true.

Well that’s all the time I have for today. But remember there are always going to be people that piss you off. I just hope that someone isn’t me.