10 Overrated Musicians/Bands/Artists

NOTE: Unlike my previous articles posted here, this is NOT a video game top-list. This instead deals with music. It may seem a bit out of place to post a music article on a video game website, but I'd like to think that there's nothing wrong with my posting this. Most video gamers are fans of music anyway, so I figure it's all good. (As the success of games like Rock Band, Guitar Hero, Frequency, and Audiosurf can attest.)

Fans of music know as good as anyone, that for every awesome artist that succeeds, (Or doesn’t succeed.) inspires, and creates brand new legacies of greatness, there will be about 15 other artists that are also succeeding, but you have no idea why.

All your friends talk about them, they appear on all the big talk shows, they sell piles of records, they win lots of meaningless awards, but goddammit! Are you the only one in the UNIVERSE who knows they really suck?!

No. You’re not.

Listed here are what I consider the 10 most over-hyped musicians, bands, and artists that ever were, many of whom are still working today, despite all odds, still getting far more credit than they’re actually worth.

And let me be perfectly clear: By overrated I don’t mean unpopular or untalented with either critics or fans. There are already a slew of Hip/Hop fans who will tell you that 50 Cent is garbage, and countless Rock critics to say that Nickelback is just about the lowest common denominator of the genre right now…So they don’t appear on the list. They don’t NEED to.

I’m not going to include a band because they suck, (Though many listed here DO indeed suck.) I’m going to include it because they’ve warranted undeserved critical praise from people who haven’t thought the whole situation through.

With that I now bring you…

********************************

10 Overrated Musicians/Bands/Artists

********************************

10. Dragonforce

********************************

Dragonforce may not have a large mainstream presence, but their influence on the internet, especially among video gamers, is RIDICULOUS, and I can’t even grasp why. Dragonforce fans, I have found, fall back on three different arguments when arguing the greatness of their group.

“They’re a metal band for gamers, because they incorporate video game sounds into their music.”

No they don’t. What they do is incorporate keyboards that have been degraded down to 8-bit sounds, and you make the connection to video games yourself. Big goddamn difference.

“They’re the hardest metal band out there today.”

Shut up. That is a stupid and subjective statement, and is no basis for an argument. Just what the heck does “Hardest” mean in that context anyway? Do you mean they play FAST? Because they most certainly play their music FAST, but that isn’t enough to make them great.

“They have the hardest song on Guitar Hero.”

…Get out of here. If you’re basing your like of songs based on whether they appeared in a video game, and for that matter because it’s a HARD SONG to beat, then you’re permanently banned from music until you develop more nuanced tastes.

But whatever you think about Dragonforce doesn’t matter, because all of their songs sound exactly the same. Seriously. This isn’t hubris, I honestly can’t tell one Dragonforce song from another, and I heard two songs of theirs before their breakout album, Inhuman Rampage, and they sound exactly like every other song on the album. (For those wondering, the songs in question were “Black Winter Night” and “My Spirit Will Go On”)

Instead, I Reccomend: Machinae Supremacy. Remember what I was saying about Dragonforce supposedly being a metal band for gamers? Screw that. Machinae Supremacy is the real deal, not just incorporating video game-like instrumentation into their music, but actually covering a lot of video game songs in their concerts. They’re not nearly as FAST as Dragonforce, but that shouldn’t matter if you’ve got an attention span longer than a gnat.

********************************

9. The Eagles

********************************

I never got The Eagles. (Though I like Don Henley’s solo career.) The Eagles are one of those bands that get piles of praise from critics and fans, they’ve been touring for more than 30 years, and hell, their first greatest hits album is the #1 selling album in the US, with 27 million sold. Tales of their greatness just keeps getting purported over and over…and I don’t get it.

That faint noise you just heard was the sound of everyone on the internet all shouting “HOTEL CALIFORNIA!” all at once. Yes, yes, I know they made that staple of classic rock radio that stations have to play by law every hour or so, but is that ALL? Sure, they’ve had a few other songs, but you’ll be hard pressed to name them unless you’re a die-hard Eagles fan, in which case there’s really no point in arguing with you.

This is a band that hit it big in the 1970s, and as soon as the 80s came along did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and still had the gall to charge $150 for tickets. I know there’re classic rock groups that’ll do that, but they have the distinction of having done a multitude of things. Apart from Hotel California I can only name 2 other songs of theirs. (Desperado and Life In The Fast Lane) 3 songs does not a “Greatest Of All Time” spot make.

Now let’s get one thing straight: I’m not saying the Eagles were/are BAD…I’m saying they’re overrated. They don’t have the staying power of more powerful classic rock artists like The Who, or Led Zeppelin. I’m sure you compared them to some OTHER “Classic?” artists of the 70s like (Blughh…) Journey, Kansas, or Supertramp, I could see how they’re more classic than them, but still. You get what I’m saying.

Instead, I Reccomend: Creedence Clearwater Revival. The Dude had it right, listening to these southern rock legends, and shunning the Hotel California band. They had more songs, and they were a hell of a lot more interesting to listen to.

********************************

8. Sublime

********************************

I go to a state college filled to the brim with frat-people, (Or in our own derogatory term: “Yah-Dudes”) and they pretty much make up a majority here. As such, whatever music THEY like tends to be the music you hear blasting out of an open dorm room at an inappropriate hour of the night. When said music isn’t the latest rap song about rims and bitches, it tends to be extremely lame white jock rock. Bands like 3 Doors Down, Nickelback, and Daughtry…but of all of these groups, the most popular of them all is Sublime.

For some reason people tend to equate Sublime to being some sort of legendary band akin to an old timey folk hero whenever the subject gets brought up. The only reason I can think of for that is because their singer died of an overdose of heroin. I mean it certainly couldn’t have been because they wrote good music. (If I have to listen to “Santeria” one more time I am going to puke blood.)

I’m only gonna say this once, so copy this down in case you forget it, alright?

EVERY BAND WITH A DEAD MEMBER IN IT IS NOT GREAT. If we had to lionize every band with a member in it that prematurely snuffed it, we’d end up with quite a few great bands, but also the likes of Hawthorne Heights, and Drowning Pool. (Shrill-voiced emos and Jock-rockey douchebags, respectively.) I’m not saying we shouldn’t care if someone in a band dies, I’m just saying that not every dead musician is Jeff Buckley.

More criminal than making some awful music though, is the fact that Sublime has exposed America to an extremely un-inspiring, tepid, and watered down version of ska music. And since they were successful when they were around, people equate them with ska music now! (As well as No Doubt, an equally awful faux-ska group.)

Sublime is not ska. You want to know what Sublime is? I’ll tell you what Sublime is. Sublime is a genre of music all they’re own. It’s for Hip-Hop fans who want to pretend that they like rock music. (Some of their later songs don’t even HAVE bona-fide instruments in them. Is that what you associate with ska? TURNTABLES?!)

Instead, I Reccomend: Any legit Ska band will do. You can’t go wrong with bands like The Specials, The Toasters, Voodoo Glow Skulls, or for something a little more well-known try the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. The closest ska’s ever gotten to having a REAL mainstream presence here in America.

********************************

7. Post-80s U2

********************************

Time has not been kind to U2. After the 1980s ended, that’s when it all started to go downhill. Sure, they released the song “One” in 1992, but apart from that it’s all paled in comparison to the stuff they’ve done in the 80s, and it’s all been pretty forgettable really.

For a band that supposedly is “always evolving”, their music past 1990 sure has been derivative of what’s the most poppy at the moment, and for whatever reason that’s always been enough for critics. No critic will dare to question them at this point, because it’s been established that they can do no wrong. Everything they release from now on is a masterpiece and must be lauded as such.

I think not.

Consider their last two albums. All That You Can’t Leave Behind was overproduced and sugary bordering on diabetic, but it was touted as a remarkable comeback for U2.

How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb was also overproduced and bursting from the seams with gigantic rock music clichés, but it was touted as a remarkable comeback for U2.

…Wait…

Even George Harrison has expressed his disdain for U2:

“You know what irritates me about modern music, it's all based on ego. Look at a group like U2. Bono and his band are so egocentric... The more you jump around, the bigger your hat is, the more people listen to your music... The only important thing is to sell, and make money. It's nothing to do with talent.”

I can’t be sure if he was referring to U2 after the 80s, but he was still right on. At it’s root, a lot the problems I’ve mentioned with U2 are traced back to Bono, who in spite of all his philanthropic deeds remains the pretentious, over-exaggerated creative force behind the group.

And that’s from the mouth of George Harrison. You’re not gonna argue with the guy who wrote “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, are you?

Instead, I Reccomend: U2 BEFORE the 90s. While I did just spend a good several paragraphs ripping on them, the truth is that U2 had some awesome tunes, and their best work came out of the 80s, before they were huge. All their best efforts are there in lockstep from The Joshua Tree, (“Bullet The Blue Sky”) to War, (“Sunday Bloody Sunday”) to The Unforgettable Fire. (“Pride”)

********************************

6. Aerosmith

********************************

As I’ve mentioned in my list of bad cover songs, I’m not a fan of Aerosmith, because like The Eagles, I don’t get their ascension to legendhood. They’ve made piles of cash off of releasing white blues-rock songs that were about as safe and radio-friendly as one could get before people start thinking you’re a Christian Rock group, but apart from that they’ve really contributed nothing with massive staying power.

Oh, wait. The majority of which are POWER BALLADS. (If you don’t groan in distaste at the sound of that word there’s something seriously wrong with you.)

Aerosmith has no real staying power, they’re not a revolutionary or influential band, and in terms of how much they really rock they’re much more on par with one of those middle-of-the-road rock groups that middle class Volvo owners keep cassettes of in their car when they want to seem tough. Somehow that’s enough for critics, who seem unfazed by how grating Steven Tyler’s voice actually is.

I’m a little surprised that video gamers don’t hate Aerosmith more than they do, for creating two abominations in video gaming, (Revolution X & Quest For Fame) and made a Guitar Hero game extremely lame.

Instead, I Reccomend: Cream. Eric Clapton before the 1990s makes everything better.

********************************

5. Oasis

********************************

And now we’ve hit controversy. That’s okay. I didn’t plan on having a British fanbase anyway.

The only explanation I have for how Oasis’ songs and albums keep popping up on “Greatest Of All Time” lists is that British music listeners have no sense of proportion. You live in the country of origin of The Beatles, David Bowie, Elton John, and more, and yet there are people who think “Live Forever” is the greatest album of all time? Are you THAT easily distracted??

My only other explanation for Oasis’ status and success is that apparently British people LOVE to see musicians make asses of themselves. (As the antics of the brothers Gallagher Liam and Noel, Shane McGowan of The Pogues, and Pete Doherty of Babyshambles can attest.) Here in “The States” whenever we see a celebrity acting stupid we rightly CRUCIFY them, but apparently you Brits are content to just look at the situation and go: “Aww heh heh heh…That’s our Gallaghers!”

(Sidenote: If you are British and take any offense at my brief ripping on you, know that I mean no ill will towards you or your country, and feel free to make fun of me for the burger-chomping, environment-killing, maniac American that I am.)

I haven’t seen a music group get so far ripping off other people’s work since Vanilla Ice “sampled” “Under Pressure”, but apart from Liam and Noel’s ridiculous antics that’s pretty much the band’s crowning achievement. (Followed by their making money off of said theft.) Their plagiarizing-Hell, their GLEEFUL ADMITTANCE to it-of riffs from better songs by bands like T-Rex, Status Quo, and The Kinks…and then they have the gall to get pissed when Green Day makes a song similar sounding to “Wonderwall” at one point.

Critics don’t seem fazed by these misdeeds, and complacency towards it is a really BAD way of thinking. That’s the kind of thinking that allows shameless dickheads like Timbaland to steal from unknown artists and use the end result in a Sprint commercial, and it’s wrong.

IT’S WROOOOOONG!

Instead, I Reccomend: Blur. Back in the 90s, Oasis and Blur were in the midst of a rivalry over who was the better of the two bands. (To the point where Noel stated that he wished Blur singer Damon Albarn would get AIDs…but y’know. All in good fun.) Commercially, Oasis won that little duel, but most critics agree that Blur was the better of the two, producing much more refined and complex Britpop. And what’s more, Albarn, the creative force of the group, is STILL making good music to this day, which is less than can be said for Oasis.

“Shock Of Lightning”? More like “SUCK Of Lightning!”

…I won’t do that ever again, I swear.

********************************

4. R. Kelly

********************************

So what is R. Kelly so legendary for, again?

I mean BESIDES the whole sexual intercourse with a minor thing. What has he done to earn so much praise from his peers, that he would be seen improperly as some sort of martyr for race relations during the whole media circus that ensued during his trial?

“I Believe I Can Fly”?

That’s all? Do I have to defer back to the argument I made talking about The Eagles a few entries earlier? One song, no matter how “inspirational” it purports itself to be, does not a legend make. What else can we look at to defend the notion that he deserves all the praise he gets that causes him to make statements like this?:

“I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now.”

A spokesman of his later claimed that that statement was “Taken out of context.” The only way I think that could be taken out of context is if immediately before that he said: “I’d have to be an egotistical moron to claim that…”

But does that statement have any credence? Marvin Gaye and Bob Marley had legendary singing voices, so clearly there has to be some sort of parallel between those 3, right? R. Kelly has the voice of a cherub, right?

Well…no. To be honest he sounds pretty damn boring and generic, as far as RnB singers have gone. (My opinion on the matter may be suspect, though, as I haven’t been terribly interested in RnB since Stevie Wonder.)

Instead, I Reccomend: Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, and Al Green were piles better singers than R. Kelly, and anyone with real musical taste would agree that they’re truly deserving of being considered “Greatest” material. But if you’re in the market for something a little more *AHEM* modern, I recommend Raphael Saadiq, John Legend, or Cee-Lo, the singing half of Gnarls Barkley.

********************************

3. KISS

********************************

The band history of KISS is almost touching in a way. It’s nice to learn that in a market as competitive as the music industry, even a foursome of whores can be successful. And don’t try to kid yourself by objecting to that statement, because that’s all KISS are. A collective of marketing whores, slapping their grill onto everything in sight.

Action figures, comic books, video games, trading cards, lighters, credit cards, pinball machines, collectible plates, lunch boxes, board games, shampoos(?), condoms(?!), coffins(?!), you name it, and they will probably stick the KISS logo onto it.

The only other thing they’re famous for is all the makeup, body armor, and pyrotechnics, which I guess were neat eye candy, but all it’s really for is to distract you from the fact that they don’t have any songs worth listening to. (“Rock And Roll All Night”, “Strutter”, and “Beth.” That’s all I could name, and I haven’t even heard the last two.)

It’s funny that during their heyday it was THEY who were commonly associated with Satanism, the occult, and all that rot thanks to the costumes and facepaint, when their music is just about the tamest excuse for rock music one can come across. Even in the context of it being party rock. But KISS’s rabidly misinformed fanbase (Or “Army”) won’t let you think that.

Whenever I see someone walking around in a KISS t-shirt or jacket, I think the exact same thing that I think whenever I see someone in a Texas Longhorns hat outside of Texas: “Are they REALLY fans of that, or are they just buying into an enormous hype machine?”

Instead, I Reccomend: Alice Cooper. KISS pretty much picked up where Alice Cooper left off in terms of early shock rock, but the only exception is that Alice Cooper was genuinely entertaining, and had real stay power. He didn’t have his own pinball machines, but that didn’t matter, because he was just plain BETTER, musically, and in terms of his influence upon music.

********************************

2. Green Day

********************************

The members of Green Day must have some VERY powerful friends in the world of music critique, since they’ve done so much irreparable damage to music in general, and no critic seems interested in calling them out on it.

Whenever I’ve heard Green Day spoken of in a “Greatest Ever” context, critics and historians will often bring up how Green Day brought punk music to a mainstream audience…as if that was a good thing.

With one highly overrated album named after dung, Green Day opened the doors for numerous overdramatic hacks. The shrill-voiced-yet-clean pop-punkers, (Sum 41, All-American Rejects, Simple Plan) the shrill-voiced-and-melodramatic emo kids, (Fallout Boy, Panic At The Disco, Dashboard Confessional) the shrill-voiced-pretentious-as-all-hell goth cliques, (AFI, My Chemical Romance, Alkaline Trio) and bands-that-little-kids-think-rock-but-everyone-would-rather-pour-battery-acid-into-their-ear-canals-than-listen-to-them….who are also shrill-voiced. (The Jonas Brothers, The Naked Brothers Band, Black Out Band.)

And for this they’ve earned a cavalcade of support from critics who don’t know any better, and droves of whiny teens on DeviantArt who enjoy writing long wordy fan-fics about Billie Joe Armstrong’s supple nipples.

Oh yeah, and there’s also the perpetual bandwagon-hopping of theirs. Did anyone honestly think that Green Day were legitimately trying to make a political statement with that American Idiot album back in 2004? (And how they made one of the most un-listenable covers of “Working Class Hero” I’ve ever heard?) Or were you like me and assumed they were just capitalizing on America’s increased interest in hating George W. Bush at the time, just like all that Vote or Die trash?

Instead, I Reccomend: Just about any old-timey 70s-80s punk band will do, because there’s something for everyone to pick from, whether it’s overtly political (The Clash, Dead Kennedys) upbeat, (The Ramones) or in the mindset that everyone on the planet needs to die. (The Sex Pistols, Fear, Black Flag)

********************************

1. Tupac Shakur

********************************

Unlike The Eagles, Aerosmith, and R. Kelly, I know exactly what made Tupac Shakur legendary.

He died.

That’s it.

Noone has profited from dying more than Tupac Shakur. (Maybe Kurt Cobain.) And he should serve as an example of just how far up it’s own ass the Hip/Hop industry is, especially today…because every rapper out there who gets big is trying to follow Tupac’s shining(?) example.

Before Tupac died, he was just another rapper. Sure, he was a key player in a territorial conflict more idiotic than the Iraq War, but apart from that he was just another rapper with maybe a couple of hit songs. NOTHING SPECIAL. And then he died, and the entire industry started seeing him as some sort of messiah. (Or rather a MARKETING messiah. I live in Fitchburg, Massachusetts right now, an inner-city area specifically, and there’re enough “Makavelli” shirts walking around to start a Tupac-themed department store.)

Whenever someone points out that Shakur might be getting a LITTLE more credit than he deserves, I’ve noticed that his fans have two tactics they fall back on: They call the original poster a hater, and list about 7 different songs, then they just sorta stop. As if that wins their argument for them. (I’ve only heard 3 Tupac songs in my entire lifetime, “Changes”, “Baby, Don’t Cry”, and “California Love”, and I thought they were half-decent at most.)

But really, all Tupac is TRULY famous for is the extent to which his corpse has been violated by his own record company. Y’know how many albums have been released since his death? Seven. SEVEN! And there’s an eighth one on the way, not even counting the numerous Greatest Hits albums he’s had. That makes 13 albums! There’re bands that are still going today since Tupac’s heyday who haven’t released 13 albums! And yet every year another one comes out, and hordes of fans push it to #1 on the charts.

Be honest, though…There’s no way he could have THAT much unreleased material, (Unless he’d been rapping since he was a fetus.) and even if he did, don’t you think there’s a good reason it was unreleased? Like maybe because it sucked?

The point that I’m laboriously trying to stress here is that for a guy who’s been hyped as Gangsta Rap’s equivalent to Jesus, there REALLY isn’t a whole lot of proof to back that claim up. (Heck, even Jesus’s fanboys aren’t as annoying as Tupac’s.) Yes, he died and a lot of people were sad, but that doesn’t make him great. Eazy E died. Big Pun died. Ol’ Dirty Bastard died. Who still gives a damn about them?

Instead, I Reccomend: Let me just repeat one last time: Tupac is not the greatest rapper of all time. He’s Hip/Hop’s own Ronald Reagan, a guy who has been given FAR more credit that he deserves by his fanbase. He’s certainly not better than 80s rappers like Chuck D or Afrika Bambataa, or underground rappers like MF Doom or Talib Kweli, or even his own arch-nemesis; The Notorious B.I.G. (Who incidentally ALSO died, but was not nearly as heavily marketed to the public.)

-------------------------------

Chances are good that there're some people reading this who disagree with me. That's fine. I encourage you to voice your opinions on this list, explain to me what ACTUALLY made any of the bands here great, (Because I'm genuinely interested in hearing the case for them.) and to please not get too offended by my words. For the most part I'm kidding.

Mostly.