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Letter To Samus.

By joeshadowman on February 7, 2010, 11:19 pm

Dear Samus,

I told you to stop eating all them doughnuts. Now look at yah, six hundred pounds and counting. I would say eat at Joes, but it looks like you ate him. Never the less, I know a few weight loss ideas. First is to never eat a person. Second is eat light food; you’ll be surprised at the amount of fat you shed off. Next work out; I know it seems hard at first, but you will be faster and stronger afterward. Finally, if all else fails, go ahead and vomit. It works for Paris Hilton, it can work for you. Look I will join you in whatever you do. Together we will shed the pounds away. Just don’t force me to do the first three, or the last one. Pretty soon this will be a thing of the past.
Kind of reminds me of me. But I digress. I am writing this letter to inform to you that a war between Kratos and Scorpion is about to start and we would like to know the side you’re on. It seems that both of them escaped hell. Also it seems they both scare the crap out of their gods. Now they want to know who is more, and I quote, “scary.” As you know I can’t chose a side because I am a coward. But I was asked by both of them to hire a bodyguard. I thought, “Who better then Samus?” I want to know who you want to work for. Chose your side, I’m sending Captain Falcon to the other. It’s a good thing Chuck Norris isn’t involved with this war. He would be the only one walking away. I will wait for your reply.
Now and Forever Yours,
Joeshadowman
Ps. I will always remember you looking like this.
So sexy.

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COMMENTS (143)

pat speed

pat speed Feb 7, 2010 at 11:39 pm

mate this gets my 11 of the day. thats bloody good picture.

but if samus wasn't fat, should wouldn't choose either, instead she blow the crap out of both them for starting the war. or roll over them, either way.

and mate Hi five for the chuck norris joke.

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 7, 2010 at 11:45 pm

pat speed said…
mate this gets my 11 of the day. thats bloody good picture.



but if samus wasn't fat, should wouldn't choose either, instead she blow the crap out of both them for starting the war. or roll over them, either way.



and mate Hi five for the chuck norris joke.

thanks man i am glad to see you enjoyed it.

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AnonymousGriffin

AnonymousGriffin Feb 8, 2010 at 12:37 am

Uh... Okay. Never seen something like this before but... yeah.

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:41 am

i'm glad to see that you like it.

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mr.flashbeamtheforgottenhero

mr.flashbeamtheforgottenhero Feb 8, 2010 at 12:55 am

You're awesome.  nuff' said.

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:41 am

thanks.

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Kingofclubs

Kingofclubs Feb 8, 2010 at 2:14 am

MY EYES GAAAAAAA

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:42 am

i'm sorry for your blindness.

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redeyephoenix

redeyephoenix Feb 8, 2010 at 2:22 am

Haha tis is awesome, thanks for it keep it up

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:42 am

redeyephoenix said…
Haha tis is awesome, thanks for it keep it up

i will.

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CrazyVideoGameDude

CrazyVideoGameDude Feb 8, 2010 at 3:18 am

Hope she has room in her stomach for an 11!

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:43 am

CrazyVideoGameDude said…
Hope she has room in her stomach for an 11!

i hope so to.

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papercuttwilliams

papercuttwilliams Feb 8, 2010 at 3:33 am

this is so funny lol

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:44 am

papercuttwilliams said…
this is so funny lol

thats what i wanted to hear.

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destructorv2

destructorv2 Feb 8, 2010 at 5:37 am

lol! nice,.... i'm sure she'll slim down when Other M comes out, lol!

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:44 am

destructorv2 said…
lol! nice,.... i'm sure she'll slim down when Other M comes out, lol!

yeah we don't want to play as a fat Samus.

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K3B

K3B Feb 8, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Oh, good, we won't. *Phew*!! I was worried for a second there......
:D

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destructorv2

destructorv2 Feb 8, 2010 at 10:22 pm

but now that i think about it, lol. that should be unlockable, unfortunately, i think people will get angry about it just like how they got angry with Fat Princess

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 10:24 pm

i thought fat princess was a good game.

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destructorv2

destructorv2 Feb 8, 2010 at 10:26 pm

It is indeed! but people were angry cos their calling women fat? and the word "fat" is insulting,  is there a logic in that? lol.

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Lan Moore

Lan Moore Feb 8, 2010 at 5:39 am

*yawn*

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Mr purple

Mr purple Feb 8, 2010 at 5:39 am

LOL good luck samus!:D

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joeshadowman

joeshadowman Feb 8, 2010 at 9:45 am

Mr purple said…
LOL good luck samus!:D

oh we are working on it. ten laps a day. shes already lost 2 pounds.

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